The Ren Men Show

10% Body Fat, are you kidding me? So for those of you who don’t know The Ren Men are dueling it out and trying to reach 10% body fat by the year’s end, if not we each owe 15K to a charity. Grant sits at about 18% and Alan sits at about 26%.

So I (Alan) took the 300 challenge. I’ve done if before but always with some kind of cheating (lat pulldowns instead of pull ups) This is the workout:

25 Pull Ups

50 Deadlifts (135 lbs.)

50 Push Ups (BOSU half-ball)

50 Box Jumps (~24. in.)

50 Floor Swipers

50 Clean and Jerk (35 lbs. db)

25 Pull Ups

Doesn’t seem THAT tough, does it? You try to finish it as quickly as you can. A ‘good’ time is under 20 minutes. Let me repeat that, under 20 minutes!

3:35 pm – Here we go…25 Pull ups, 7, 8, 9, (oh, how can I feel tired already?) 10…(insert — huffing and puffing sound here)…

3:37 pm – 14, 15 (oh they might close down the gym before I finish)…rest…

3:40 pm – I head over to prepare for some dead-lift fun…you can setup the dead-lift bar beforehand, but I know I’ll take as much rest as I can get…

3:42 pm – I still need a break from pull ups, enter dead-lifts…10, feel good…

3:44 pm – Back to pull ups 16-20, (I must have blacked out during 19 and 20)

3:47 pm – 11-20 dead-lifts still feel good…

3:50 pm – Need a break, hey I’ve got a great idea, let’s go box jumping…49, 50 pouring with sweat and swear words a-flowin’, fear starts to set in…will I make it through this?

3:53 pm – Back to pull ups 21-25, and I have to do that again? Holy cow chips…

3:56 pm – 21-35 dead-lifts, after box jumps, burn baby burn…

4:00 pm – Wheeeeeezzzzing…

4:02 pm – 36-50 dead lifts complete, (hand in the air, praise the Lord)

4:03 pm – Floor swipers burn through 20, actually felt decent…two deep breaths, rep out the last 30! Yep, I might just throw up…awesome…

4:05 pm – Clean and jerk, 25 each side, felt good…

4:08 pm – Push ups, saved them for last, because I KNEW I could rep them out…uhhhhh, negative ghostwriter pattern is full….25 half-way home…hello, nice to see you brick wall…35, how did my shirt catch on fire? Oh it’s not, those are my lats burning to a crisp…40, 45, 50…no gas left, fumes?, gone as well…

4:10 pm – The final 25 pull ups…1, 2, 3…reverse grip, 4, 5…I hate you glory days, I hate you Spartans…I hate you number 10…

4:12 pm – 6, 7, 8…reverse grip 9 and 10…I hate you vino, I hate you ego…I hate you Frak’n Peelle…I hate you Adam Baker…I hate you Annie Sorensen…

4:14 pm – 11, 12, 13, 14, reverse grip, 15…I hate you Tim Ferriss…I hate you BodPod…I hate you Tony Horton…I hate you Pat Flynn…

4:16 pm – 16, 17, 18, reverse grip, 19, 19.5…total muscle failure…I hate you YouTube body transformation videos, I hate you complex carbohydrates…I hate you King Leonidas…I hate you Ren-Menions…

4:18 pm – What can I do? How can I quit now? But I have nothing left? Stop being a kitty and get it done! 20, 21, 22, reverse grip, 23, 24…one damn more…side grip, 24.5…oh $#!4 I am done…one more, 25…DONE!

I take it all back I love you every last one of you!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:35 pm – Finally, getting enough feeling back in arms to feel confident enough that my motor skills will hold up long enough to write this post…

In conclusion, I feel extremely tired, but also really happy I finished. I did almost quit, just once, right before the last 25 pull ups, but I needed to finish…once I started the last 25 pull ups being so close to finish, I was going to finish no matter how long it took. I wanted a better time (43 minutes) and wanted to do all exercises I the right order but I would’ve been in the gym all night. I plan on doing it again next week, I’ll keep you posted…

AL

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